Communication

I would start with the thesis that communication is the equally important as technical skills to become fully professional software engineer.

Why

Most of us work in Teams. In order to work effectively we need to communicate effectively. Communication has big impact on many aspects of our live. For example performance, work satisfaction. By any means I am not going to state here that you need to be the nicest person in the room - like social butterfly. Quality of our communication is equally important as our code quality.

Bad code is as dangerous as bad communication.

What I think good communication should look like?

• clear - you should express your thoughts in clear understandable way. If you do it in non-native language try to upgrade your language skills to make it like a native. It is not easy to pass clear messages in native language add to this expressing ideas in foreign one.
• professional - remember this is work it is not your home, stay professional, keep your voice calm and emotions under control. This will help to keep healthy atmosphere even if there are different opinions and views. Even if someone presses your buttons, try to stay calm, fighting back is not the best option - be smarter.
• respect-full - respect the fact that people might have different view and opinion - just because they can. Even if this is totally controversial or non-logical view, don’t criticize it. Share your view instead.
• honest - if you are wrong, just admit that, people will respect that, don’t play games. If someone else is wrong, make sure you stay with facts and express your view in clear and professional way. No personal trips allowed here. If you work remotely - turn on your camera, don’t hide yourself. Your mimic, body moves helps to pass the right message.

How to do that?

• ask questions - there are no stupid questions, assuming you respect above rules you should be fine.
• not too long - try to keep your messages short, average person can hold their focus for short time - approx 10 - 20 min
• I - use I - if someone say something to presses your buttons

  I don’t like what you’ve just said, it makes me feel… I don’t want this to happen again.

It will stop further escalation.

• listen - understand other person view, only then address your concerns if needed.

Want more?

I really recommend reading this book: Crucial Conversations. In my opinion it is worth to read this. Regardless of your communication skills. It helped me to understand mechanics of the conversation and refresh ways to look at it.